4.5 years ago

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately....for so many reasons.
Most recently because of a diagnosis I recently received...which I will write about later.

I stumbled across part of a blog that I wrote 4.5 years ago....it's below. God's grace never ceases to amaze me. After reading this, I clearly remember this day. I remember how I felt and where I was...I recall all the emotions. I remember wondering what and how my 'vision' of redemption would manifest itself.

This morning I went to 21 Days of Prayer at our church and it struck me.....so much of what I wrote below, 4.5 years ago, describes perfectly the church we are part of now. The people, the worship, the focus on prayer, the commitment to preaching the Gospel, etc.are all things that we have experienced since we joined the Highlands family in 2013. Never in a millions years did I dream at that time in 2012, that being part of a church like this was possible. I can't think of a place I'd rather be, to walk through what we've experienced, than here.

I'm reminded again...His grace is sufficient....He is all we need. His promises and His plans are good. His ways are perfect....and even when we can't see what's ahead, He holds the future and walks before me.

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But He is with me. He is with me and I know it. Even when I want to sit down and not move another foot, another inch, He is with me....gently guiding me with His Word, His Spirit, worship songs, encouragement from a friend, family, a kind text or email....He orchestrates what we need for the moment, to keep going.

You see, something like this is enough for you to want to throw in the towel. To quit. To say 'enough'. I am done. I am SO DONE. However, my faith in the ONE who holds it all together is strong. The waiting is so difficult....but He reminded me, the Israelites wandered for years....and I am thinking, no. PLEASE NO. I don't think I can do that. The last 3 years for us have been hard....very hard. I think I have reached my limit...really. I mean REALLY, enough already.

So He is leading through this jungle and He says, "I know it is hard. I know. I AM with you. You can do it b/c I AM here. The wait is almost over. Keep walking. Remain with Me. Do not give up. When you leave this jungle, on the other side, ohhhh my on the other side....you cannot even begin to fathom. You have NO idea what I have prepared for you. You will exit this jungle and behold....

You will behold the most incredible scene you have ever seen this side of heaven. The grass there....oh my goodness....it is green, so GREEN. The blades are long and soft, lush and green. The hills are magnificent. The water in the river is crystal clear and there's a waterfall.....a gorgeous waterfull with water that when it splashes and hits the rocks it looks like sparkling diamonds.

The vegetation is magnificent. It is huge, juicy, fresh, and colorful. The apples...they are the most perfectly round pieces of fruit you have ever beheld....the peppers are deep and rich in color and flavor....the animals are beautiful and tame....roaming and running free. The trees are gorgeous, swaying in the breeze and give off the most pure oxygen in the world.

and life is grand. Your children run, laugh, and play...they enjoy life with new friends.Your family is happy and you enjoy your time together. What I AM preparing....you cannot even conceive.