FINALLY.....able to post

I'm not sure what happened, but for the longest time, I could not post anything from our computer at home. I had messed with our security settings for Internet browsing, and apparently I did something to disable my ability to access this blog.

Anyway, I think I fixed it! WoW....lots has happened....

brief notes on the last 6 weeks or so....

1. Thanksgiving...lots of fun in MO w/my family. My youngest brother, Matthew, and his wife, Jessie, and their boys, Jackson and Josiah, were getting together w/her family, so they were not there. BUT, we were able to meet up w/them outside Memphis, for lunch at Subway, so they could meet DanNi.
The girls had loads of fun at Grammy's and Grandad's playing games, making crafts, working puzzles, playing pool, etc. in their cool basement. We had fun catching up w/everyone, since the last time we were together was July at the beach. DanNi experienced her first swim at an indoor hotel pool in the US at our hotel there in MO. I got up super early on BLack Friday and hit Macy's, my favorite store, and found some great deals!

2. School and church....the girls finished up their first semester for the 2010-2011 school year. It's hard to believe it's half over! That means summer is that much closer!!!! I miss SUMMER!!! At church JingJing and Meredith participated in WAM! (worship, arts, music) for grade school kiddos. I helped w/the drama. Meredith had a few solos and did a great job! JingJing was a 'dancer' and had fun w/that! THe program turned out cute.
Since coming home from China, I have not been in Adult Choir. It was just one thing that I did not feel I could keep up...having to stay late on Wed. for practice, and commit to extra practices for the Christmas musical. Also, I have been helping DanNi w/her homework, which has taken extra time, in addition to the help I give Meredith and JingJing (Matthew somehow manages to escape Homework duty most days!) No, he does help, but it is definitely not his favorite thing. He honestly would rather wash the dishes...and I'm good w/that!

3. DanNi...or Sunshine, or Partly Cloudy (our nicknames for her)...we have to find some humor in this, right?!
Well, she still seems to enjoy school, and we are hearing from the grapevine (church kiddos that have classes w/her) that she is still not talking at school either. Every day after school she gets in the car and we ask her if she had a good day and she shakes her head 'yes'. So, that is good. I try to find the positives like that...we could be facing having to physically put her in the car each day..so I am grateful we are not battling that issue.

She will verbally respond occasionally if we give her 'the look'  when we ask a question, like, "What do you want to drink? Do you have homework?Do you want a snack?", etc. We are still working on "please, thank you"...I think those are the things I find hardest to accept, that she WILL NOT, offer a 'please' or 'thank you' on her own. Maybe someday she can help me understand that.

We visited the International Adoption Clinic on Nov. 22nd and were there about 3 hours. The family therapist at one point said something along these lines, "Sometimes it takes kids like this about a year, before they will really talk.." and DanNi
SMILED really big. NOT GOOD....it's a good thing my arm wasn't able to reach across the room, 'cause I think I would have slapped the lady. We had already reiterated that DanNi understands A LOT of what we are saying. Soooo, we took her smile to mean she would use that as 'permission' to keep up her silence...which also confirms another time when we were grilling her about not talking, and she finally said 'don't want to'.

Matthew and I had decided we would wait all night for her to tell us goodnight (our T-giving trip to MO) b/c I was bound and determined she would start talking b/c we had had it enough already, with her stubbornness. So, we let Meredith and JJ go to bed and brought her to our connecting hotel room. ONE AND A HALF hours later.....I sat on the floor next to her, crying, asked her, "WHY will you not say it?...mad, sad, nervous, don't want to.." I asked her that probably 4 times and she finally said 'don't want to'...I didn't know if I should yell and scream b/c she actually verbalized something, or yell and scream b/c she confirmed our assumption that she was just refusing to speak....even though we know she can.

Lord, Jesus, please help us all. I find on most days my attitude is pretty rotten. That's just it....it is. It's getting harder and harder..as the days wear on....to keep being nice. So, I often remind myself, many times a day, this is harder for her, than it is for us...or so I keep telling myself that. We obviously can in no way understand or know the trauma she has been thru. We desperately want to help her...but she is only hurting herself now, but refusing to talk. I guess it's like trying to help an alcoholic...you can want it so bad for them, but until they want to be clean for themselves, there's really nothing you can do. and that is SOOOOO hard!!!!!!

We tried to draw the parallel w/her glasses...for the longest time she would NOT wear her glasses..and she desperately needs them. FInally, I put my foot down, when it was time to go to soccer practice. I told her to get her glasses. She rolled her eyes, and it was all I could do...to keep my cool. She held them in her hand in the car. I put the car in park, and told her to put them on. I watched in the rearview mirror and she wouldn't. I started to drive again, and told her she had to wear them, or she would not go to soccer. I felt like such a meanie, but I knew we had to start establishing some control w/things that are non-negotiable. She finally put them on, but stood there during soccer practice, not doing anything.

So, she knew we meant business w/the glasses and now wears them all the time, no problem. We tried to say, 'look, we told you you needed the glasses; now you wear them and you can see. You need to TALK to participate in this family and to have friends." Her face got really sullen. She knew exactly what we were saying.

On a POSITIVE note, she is reading her Bible more, thank-You, Jesus. Joey got her a Bible in Chinese-English and it is great. During our nightly devotions w/the girls, we will show her what book it is in, and she will get her Bible and read along. On a couple of occasions she has read us the verses in Chinese, and that was cool. On other occasions, she has declined...who knows?? But, we have seen her lately, reading her Bible after they go to bed. So, I am so thankful for that.

on that note, goodnight!