Spiritual Parallels

Over the last few weeks, God has really been speaking to me, about DanNi and her 'stubbornness', as it kinda parallels our stubbornness, at least mine anyway, as a believer.   In thinking about DanNi's adoption in these terms....we prayed and sought His wisdom for this adoption and believe He called us to be her parents. That will never change, and we often remind ourselves of that, when things get complicated and frustrating. And I think of myself, that God knew that I would trust Christ as my Saviour at 7years old, and He would be my Heavenly Father....and I know I've provided lots of 'frustrating' moments for Him (does He get frustrated with us??) along the way.   However, we are human and are feeling LOTS of human emotions throughout this journey, that has forever changed our family....just as JingJing's adoption changed our family.   It's easy for us to think this way....we traveled halfway around the world, to bring this 12 year old daughter home....and in our estimation, the life we will provide for her will offer many great opportunities that she would have never known had she continued to be orphaned in communist China. As Americans, we are providing her a home, her own clothes, food, her own toys and bicycle, a good education, a bed with a mattress, a home computer, soccer, two sisters, you get the idea....and the most important thing of all, exposure to the Gospel....a great church with a phenomenal youth group...opportunities to attend a Winter Retreat, D-Now, Summer Camp......  What more could she want, right? And why doesn't she seem grateful? Why doesn't she ever say 'thank you'?   And then, this happens...the Holy Spirit gently reminds me....Stephanie, there was a time when I offered way more than this to you, and you acted the same way...ungrateful, uncommitted, half-hearted, straddling the fence, one foot 'in' and one foot 'out'...desperately wanting to be loved, yet hanging on to sin, wanting to know and experience the joy of salvation...but not completely ready to embrace it all....for fear of what it might cost....what I might have to face...the fear of the unknown..... How many of us, as Christians, are like that??   In Christ Jesus, we have ALL the power, wisdom, strength, grace, hope, peace, and more...available to us....but we turn our backs...as He relentlessly pursues us...arms folded...unsure of what accepting all these gifts He has for us, might really mean. Why do we do that? For each of us, the reasons are different.   So, I think back to DanNi....it's like she has one foot in China, and one foot here...and rightly so...I mean, she lived 12 years there...adjusting to life here in America will take time. So, when I get frustrated that she won't even initiate a 'thank you', ever, I remember that many times, Jesus Himself, has called me to come, and I've turned my face the other way. If we are holding on to sin, as DanNi is holding on to her past (the abandonment, the miserable orphanage life, the betrayals, the lies, a culture that does not express love in physical ways, the familiar food and language) with a death grip, we can't completely accept all He has for us. It's not possible.   Just as DanNi is having a hard time accepting life here, the things we are offering her...she may take them because she thinks it's expected, but that doesn't necessarily mean she likes it. She may respond to questions now with one word because she knows we expect it, but that doesn't mean she likes it...and we certainly better not expect her to make an effort to speak more...because she is just not ready. We do the 'church thing' because we think it's expected...and especially if you live in the South; but that doesn't mean we like it. And some of us do that, but you better not expect me to volunteer for anything, and I'm certainly not about to give any of my money to the church.   Isn't Jesus ready for us to live with absolute abandon to Him; a life full of joy and peace....I didn't say "easy", by any means...but a life that is full, and satisfying. I am constantly doing spiritual evaluation to see what/or if there are things that I am holding on to, which keep me from experiencing the life He has for me.   I pray that one day, DanNi will see, with eyes wide open, a family that loves her unconditionally, only because of His love....(I still have NO idea, how people that aren't believers do this...not for a minute)....and that we want more than anything, for her to accept our love and the 'inheritance' she has, as part of our family.   We have a heavenly inheritance. His Name is Jesus. Are you taking full advantage of all your inheritance, as a child of the King, or are you standing with hands and heart partially closed? He wants nothing more than to give you all He has in store. Will you let Him? Stephanie Bass Psalm 139 http://bassfamilyadoptionjourney.blogspot.com