PLEASE pray for us and for DanNi

I really do not know what to say or how to start...I think Matthew blogged a bit a day or so ago..I don't even know what it said. This is going to be long, I think...anyway..

On "Gotcha Day", Sept.16th, we were in the elevator at the Civil Affairs Office (about 2:15pm) with our guide and 2 other families. The door opened, and to our shock, Emma was sitting on a bench with a female from her orphanage. I wanted to run and hug her, but didn't b/c I didn't know the 'protocol'...I knew they were not supposed to be sitting there, b/c the children are usually in a separate room when the families arrive.

 

Our time came and our name was called...Matthew and I walked over to her as she walked out of the room. We said "I love you" in Chinese and she just stood there (kind of expected that). We made some small talk with the guide and Vice Dir. of the SWI (orphanage) and then we sat down with her. Just prior to that, we discussed what she wanted to be called; first she said we could decide; we said "Emma" and the she said 'no' call me DanNi. So, DanNi it is and we are good w/that b/c we want it to be her choice. I cannot even tell you if we got pictures or video from that first moment. It was all pretty crazy.

 

Meredith and JingJing joined us. I started pulling stuff out of my backpack, crayons, bubbles, jump rope, snacks, etc. things I thought would be fun...not so much. The SWI lady continued to talk to DanNi in Chinese, which was making me really nervous, not knowing what she was telling her.

 

Fast FWD, we finally get on the bus, go back to the hotel, the girls jump on the bed and play w/the beach ball I brought...and eventually make it to McDonald's for dinner. That went well...she likes McNuggets and French fries!! It is finally time for bed...a moment I am dreading....I show her how to fill the tub for a bath; she takes a bath and actually put the PJs I bought her on (she has refused to wear anything else we brought for her...this is also common). She starts to cry when we say 'bedtime'...she chose to sleep w/Meredith. She finally settled down and slept all night.

 

Welcome to Friday...ohhhhh boy. I will try to make this brief. REALITY has set in when she opens her eyes and sees the same strange Caucasian people she went to sleep with the night before. I can just imagine she was only hoping it was a dream. She began crying....quiet tears, continuous, nonetheless...no loud sobbing, just a lot of crying, and my heart breaks with each tear that falls because she refuses to let us comfort her. Never in my life have I felt so utterly helpless. We are trying to reassure her in our completely broken CantonEnglishManderish...whatever you call it..we are butchering the language, but trying to convey love to her, and she is having none of it.

 

We go to breakfast and finally get on the bus to finalize the adoption...Lee, our guide explains to her what is about to happen...I didn't want her to be surprised when we pull up to the same bldg. we were at the day before. Lee's explanation only scared her to death...as she realizes she is about to agree to leave the only life she has ever known.

There was a period of about an hour at the Civil Affairs Office Fri. morning (9-10ish) when I really was scared....helpless..hopeless...frightened...We knew she would be asked if she wanted to be adopted, since she was 12...we assumed that was BEFORE the process began...and she was asked and agreed, that's how we found ourselves in China Sept. 13th. BUT, a BIG BUT...the children 12 and older, are also asked again, to agree, before they SIGN their name..and we did not know that.

 

I believe that was in His divine plan, though, for us NOT to know that...b/c I'm not too sure we would have agreed..Sooo, for about that hour, when we thought DanNi was going to change her mind, say NO to a family, we thought we may be getting on the plane, just the 4 of us....and in those moments, I have prayed like I have never prayed before. Time was absolutely suspended...and it was TORTURE..for her, I'm sure, and for us. She first refused to have her picture made with us, and we knew at that moment, that was not good.

 

In a small office, a lady convinced her to sign her name, so as DanNi's tears fell and hit that lady's desk, she signed her name to our official adoption paperwork. I can hardly bear to think about it...so please PRAY for her and for us. We have seen a few smiles, but know she is greieving HARD. We knew this was definitely a possibility...but you can read a thousand books and try to prepare and talk to countless families who have also adopted older children, but until you are living it and it is reality for you...it is very hard.

 

Meredith and JingJing are angels in disguise in our opinions. Having them here is a complete blessing. There are a million more things I need to say, but I need to go. We covet your prayers now, and in the days to come. I look forward to the day DanNi can share her story of redemption....I KNOW it will come, one day...and I KNOW one day she will come to know my Jesus. That is why we are here...I have to keep reminding myself of that...to give her a family and hopefully through that, she will know eternal salvation.
 

Stephanie Bass

Psalm 139

http://bassfamilyadoptionjourney.blogspot.com