Days earlier, we boarded a plane in Maryland, bound for Beijing, China. Matthew and I, along with our 3.5 year-old little Meredith, and Matthew's parents, were on our way to adopt our youngest daughter. The Lord had spoken to both Matthew and I through some incredible set of circumstances in 2003 where we knew He had called us to adopt, even though we could have conceived another child on our own.
Along with about 48 other families, (this is just the group from our tour bus)
This picture shows the moments after Zhan Wen Jing was placed in our arms at the China Center of Adoption Affairs in Guangzhou, China. She was almost 10 months old, barely weighed 15 pounds and could not sit up on her own. Her little bottom had open wounds from a severe diaper rash.
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It is on days like today where I think about her birthmother. I'm sure the choice to give up her daughter was not an easy one. We are forever grateful for her sacrifice and are so thankful the Lord chose us to be her parents. Over the years Gabrielle has asked some of these questions, which I, too, often wonder:
Do you think my birthmother is still alive?
Do I have brothers and sisters?
Do you think my birthmother knows who Jesus is?
What will happen to her when she dies?
Why don't I look like you and Daddy?
I wonder what she looks like?
Do you think I have her personality?
I wonder what my grandparents are like?
Do you think I will ever be able to find her?
And as a mother, it's the last question that haunts me. It haunts me because I don't have an answer and my heart breaks for Gabrielle because I can't make it better. However, I am so thankful her story did not end in a hopeless, sterile, state-run Communist orphanage.
The Lord had more for Gabrielle and He has more for you, too.
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Perhaps you, like us, have questions this side of heaven that will never be answered.
Because of our faith in Jesus Christ, this is where we always land when we contemplate these unknowns:
1. God is a loving God because He gave up His only Son to live on earth, and to eventually die and pay for our sins. ~ John 3:16
2. His ways are higher than our ways; and often we do not fully comprehend them because we are limited by our own human understanding. ~ Isaiah 55:8-9
3. God never gives us more than we can handle and He always provides the grace and strength to endure the challenges we face. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13
4. His plans for us are to prosper us and give us a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
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If you've ever considered adoption, I'd be honored to share more with you about our experiences. Of this I do know, the Lord has used our adoptions to deepen my faith and knowledge of God the Father who loves us immeasurably, in ways I could have never imagined prior to becoming an adoptive mother.
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"He must become greater; I must become less" ~ John 3:30
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