I'm almost 43.5 years (and that half grows more significant with each passing year!) old and have been reflecting a lot the last two years over my time mothering. Maybe there are other moms out there, like me, who wish they could scoop up those hours, days, and weeks....the ones full of joy, laughter, bathtime, potty training, car seat-lugging, stroller-pushing, and tears from tantrums....and put them in a bottle as a sacred keepsake....something to visually remind us of the precious childhood experiences that we've long since said goodbye to.
It's not healthy to live in the past and spend endless minutes or hours wondering 'what if' or thinking 'I should have.' For me, reflecting gives me time to treasure the sweet memories I do have of when our girls were younger and it encourages me to cherish EVERY. SINGLE. moment I still have with them. Our daughters are almost 19, almost 16, and almost 13. The years they have left at home are now less than what we've shared with them already. I just don't want anything to be wasted. I want to be present in the moment, to give them my full attention, to truly listen, and to make these next few years the best ones ever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being a young mother was hard for me at times. One of our girls was extremely strong-willed as a toddler. I felt the pressure to work outside the home because the church Matthew served in at the time during our first 5 years of ministry did not provide health insurance. I was trying to figure out the whole thing....being a good wife, mother, friend, staff wife, etc. and I feel like I failed more times than I got it right. Thank goodness for the grace of Jesus.
If you are find yourself in a similar place....new wife, new mom, now a mom to more than one child, stay-at-home mom, single mom, working mom....my heart goes out to you. We juggle a lot. A LOT. We wear a lot of hats---nurse, cook, butler, chauffeur, teacher, head cheerleader, therapist, coach, janitor, laundry room operator, ....you get the idea. You know, you do this everyday. If you are like me, you may put undue pressure and expectations on yourself, which makes life more stressful. My husband did not put expectations on me. Quite the opposite...I was and am truly blessed....he has always helped out at home...dishes, laundry, taking care of the kids, homework, errands, etc.
So, here's my two-cents to encourage you, to encourage us, to keep going, especially on the hard days, in those extremely difficult moments. You are doing a great job! You are a great mom!
1. Relax. It doesn't all have to be done today. Prioritize your tasks. Pray and ask God for wisdom about what has to be done now, and what can be done later.
2. Think of small ways to reward yourself.
--If I had a task that HAD to be done and it was on a day where I was extremely tired or stressed, I'd think of something ahead of time I wanted as a 'reward', an incentive, if you will.....I'd take a longer walk than normal. I'd treat myself to a specialty coffee if I was about to run errands. A piece of chocolate....anything....to help me make it through another load of dishes, laundry, or cleaning up a mess.
3. When your child(ren) want to tell you something....listen to them. Put your phone down. Close your laptop. Stop texting. Turn off the TV. Turn off the radio. And listen.
4. When you mess up, say "I'm sorry. I messed up. Can you please forgive me?"
5. Pray. Pray. And pray some more.
Lastly, I intended to continue doing this next thing....I started it....and like lots of things, did not follow through. I began keeping a journal of our girls' spiritual journeys. I started documenting conversations and questions they had about Jesus, the Bible, church, their faith, etc. I do know the dates they each gave their hearts to Jesus, but I truly wish I'd continued to write things down for them. I am so good at doing the things that must be done....the dishes, going to the bank, laundry, putting gas in the car, buying groceries, showing up to work, etc.....but the 'things' that are not 'mandatory' for life to continue, I tend to not be so intentional. Looking back, I would have scheduled time for this each week. If you can do that, I would highly recommend it. We write down and keep appointments; I wish I'd made this journaling a priority, an appointment per se. And with anything, it's never too late to start making something a habit that is important to you.
In closing and thinking about all of this, I love these verses:
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"--Philippians 1:6.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness"--Lamentations 3:22-23
No comments:
Post a Comment