One Year Ago

I can hardly believe it has been ONE YEAR....one year since we were in China, anticipating the adoption of Emma DanNi Bass. It's about 1am now in Guangzhou, China (I think, depending on Daylight Savings Time). I remember that night, September 15, 2010, clearly. I remember thinking about DanNi, and wondering if she was sad...sad that it would be her last night with her friends.

If you 'click' on the top picture, you see the fear and sadness in her eyes. That was September 17, 2010.....later in the day after she almost refused to sign the papers at the adoption office. The picture clearly communicates her uncertainty and possible regret at the decision she just made. I believed then, and still do today, that ALL children were created to be in families....not in orphanages or group homes. There may be days when she wonders if she made the right decision, to agree to be adopted, but I pray those moments become less and less, as she experiences the love of a family, through the redemption of Christ.
Now, after hearing her talk and reading some of the things she's written, I'm sure she was incredibly sad. I would be to; to be leaving all I'd known for the last four years; a scared, nervous 12 year old girl; yielding myself to go with these complete strangers; this white family from America...who don't look like me; who don't smell like me; who don't talk like me; who don't eat like me; who don't dress like me....we will never truly know all that she experienced that night, or the days thereafter.

I do know this though...she is the bravest 13 year old girl I know. I think leading up to her adoption and for several months after, I cried enough tears to fill a small lake; and not one of them got by Jesus. And DanNi could probably say the same.

It has been a tough year; but an incredibly blessed one, as well. I do know this, God has become more real to me and my fellowship with Jesus has become more sweeter than I ever dreamed it could be....so for that, I am grateful for those frustrating and difficult moments; for it was then, that He took me to the end of myself, to realize complete dependence on Him.

A lot has happened in our family over the last year....DanNi's adoption; JingJing and DanNi gave their hearts to Jesus...Meredith got to go with her Daddy on a mission trip to Costa Rica...a trip that has changed their lives...and me, I continue to be amazed at His love for me and how He continues to pour out His blessings, of which I am so undeserving.

We have also seen a lot happen in our church family and community...two other families brought home daughters from China; one family has a foster daughter; one family is in the process to be foster parents; one couple is in the process of domestic adoption; one family is waiting to bring their Chinese daughter home; one family recently returned home with their 2nd Chinese daughter; one family is currently in China, adopting two children; one family has taken in two more foster children, in addition to their adopted sons and foster daughter; several people who are praying about His direction for their families; and I'm sure there's more that I don't know about....

I am amazed at His goodness and grace and count it a HUGE blessing to see what He is doing..how He continues to work in the lives of believers who have finally decided to say, 'YES'! Yes, Father, I will follow You; I know that Your ways are best and higher than mine.

So, to DanNi..in case I don't get a chance to post tomorrow, September 16..her actual 'Gotcha Day'...
I love you! I'm glad that God brought you to our family. I pray that I can be the mother that you need and that you've longed for. You've grown so much; learned so much in the short time you've been here. I look forward to seeing how He continues to work in your life.