WARNING: This post has some specific info. about 'life'; so if you let your child read this blog, you may want to read this first to determine if it's appropriate for your family at this time.
On Sunday, July 31, I took 3 books, my Bible, DanNi and Meredith and we had a chat about 'life'. In following with the 'Parenting on Purpose' theme, I'd prayed about talking with them specifically before school started again, for several reasons. I wanted them to hear all of this information from me, FIRST, before they heard about it at school or on TV or somewhere else. After my 'opening remarks', I read a few sentences from one book and and asked if they'd heard the word sex befofe and they both said 'no'.
I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking up to that point, they had not been prematurely exposed at school or TV, to something they were not prepared for. Well, now they know exactly what sex is; framed in a biblical perspective; which I had to keep reiterating between Meredith's sobs. That God created it; and in the context of marriage, it is a good thing.
Her reaction was not at all what I'd anticipated. I figured DanNi wouldn't say much and she didn't. First we talked about boys and girls--similarities and differences---and that God created us all in His image, perfectly unique. Then we hit the high points again about puberty and body changes...a reminder from our 1st lesson.
The books had some great kid-like illustrations and I think this helped a lot, in looking at different body parts and explaining where things are located and their 'uses'. We have always used anatomically correct words for body parts; just a decision we made early on when Meredith was a baby. I always thought in naming things correctly, our children would not be confused. I think sometimes if you use a 'fake/cute' name; when they hear the anatomically correct name when they are older, they think it is 'bad' or 'shameful'; when this is not the case at all. Anyway, I know people fall along different ends of the spectrum on this, but it made this "lesson" easier b/c I did not have to do any re-explaining like, "Mommy, I thought it was called a 'tee-tee' or a 'pee-'pee'. Why are you calling it a penis/vagina, now?" So, I did not have to answer those types of questions.
We looked at pictures and I answered Meredith's questions as we progessed through the books...and her questions, as I anticipated actually took a very normal, logical progression....looking at baby in Mommy's tummy inside the uterus; 'how does it get there?' ...looking at the developmental stages of the first few weeks of life (Psalm 139)....and talking about marriage, love, expressions of love, etc.
When I finally explained just exactly how 'a baby is made'....wow! Meredith started crying. For a looooong time she could not get over the fact that she might have to take her clothes off in front of her husband! Poor thing...she is very modest, as is DanNi, and I am truly grateful for that....and sincerely pray that those feelings of modesty, purity continue until they get married.
They both giggled a little and then Meredith asked some really great questions, in between her crying and saying , "I am NEVER getting married." DanNi agreed, that now, she did not want to get married either. So, since then, whenever Meredith has questions, she'll ask us openly and honestly. Even though she was upset for a little bit, she has gotten over that part; and I am so glad we had 'the talk'.
I wanted them to know that Mommy loves them and there will never be ANYTHING they cannot ask me....that they can always approach me with life's most intimate and important questions and I will do my best to answer honestly and openly. I knew that once I opened up this topic for discussion, I pray that when it is time for them to court/date, they will feel like they can come to me...and when it is time for them to get married, they know I am there for them.
God has blessed me immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine through our three daughters. He has used them to teach me countless lessons, and for each one I am exremely grateful.
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