Has it really been 8 months?!?!?!?!

A few weeks and then months after we came home (today marks the end of the 8th month since DanNi's adoption), I began having dreams where DanNi would just come up and talk to me. They were just that, at the time...dreams. I remember thinking, "When will that happen? Will it ever happen? How long will I have to wait for that? How long, oh, Lord, how long?"

And now, it is no longer a dream...it is a reality..praise God. I can hardly even believe it. Unless you have lived through something very similar...and I don't know what that would be...a desperate desire to communicate to and love someone, who wants none of it, day after day, for months on end....it is so hard to describe and to know what it's been like in our home.

I can say that I am so thankful, though...because my faith has been strengthened and deepened far beyond anything I could have ever imagined...it's gone to such a level..and I feel the nearness of God, like never before. I guess that is bound to happen, when you pray, day after day, and spend so many moments crying out to God...literally weeping, pleading, begging for Him to move...and believing it, that He will.

I never doubted that DanNi would be saved...I just had no idea when it would happen. That is obvious...only God knew...and I am so grateful that it happened sooner than later. I am so thankful He decided to call her and she responded May 7th, as opposed to putting it off. I am so grateful that He didn't think we needed to wait years...I guess that sounds so weird, but I think He knew we were pretty weary...but I knew in my heart we would not give up...we would press on...we were being pressed, but not crushed; and felt persecuted in a certain way, but not abandoned.

As the days wore on, some were harder than others. I think we all felt emotions we had no idea existed.
Back when we first started the process in Oct. 2009, I began running again, longer and farther than I had in years. It was very therapeutic and I spent many hours since then, and up until recently, praying like crazy. I had some great moments with God that I would not trade for the world....times where I felt like I could hear and feel Jesus..holding me close.

I would weep....just weep..and sometimes I even yelled, begging to be heard, while I ran. If I could just put on DanNi's hurt, her pain, that is so evident when we start probing about her past, I would do it in a minute. I would wear it, if I could...so she wouldn't have to bear it any longer.

But now I know that Jesus can give her all the healing she needs. So that will be the focus of my prayers from now on....that through reading her Bible and much prayer, she will discover His great, amazing love for her. I reminded her that God has a plan for her life and she said she knew that. And that in itself is hard...He has a plan, and sometimes that plan includes much pain and sorrow, as many of you know.

We trust that He will use the pain in her past, to make something totally beautiful..that when beheld by others, they would see Jesus. Oh, that they would see Him. It is truly a miracle and I am humbled to be part of it.