A New Year...

Goodness, I can't believe January is almost half over! We are at home again because school was canceled for the third day due to snow/ice. This is not much for a girl from Missouri...who went to school unless we got over 12 inches of snow. But, for this area, it is unusual to have this much snow, so they are not prepared with salt trucks and snowplows, which means the roads stay covered.

Anyway, an update since Christmas....Christmas was great...I think the girls enjoyed all of their gifts, but more than that, they truly had fun playing with each other...Uno, Othello, Sorry, Zhu Zhu pets, dolls, and more! And this was a HUGE victory, for Meredith anyway. As some of you know, she has had an extremely difficult time with DanNi's adoption, mainly because things had not turned out like she hoped...despite our efforts to prepare her as much as possible.

And as we found, sometimes there's no amount of preparation that can prepare you for reality. But, God is good...as always...and we are seeing some real progress. Since Christmas, DanNi has said several sentences, yes, sentences. The first one totally caught me off guard....we were at a truck stop on the way to Connect, a youth event in TN, when she said, "I need to go to the bathroom." I almost lost it, right there, at the Travel Center. What I wanted to do...scream, holler, yell, do a dance, would have made me look certifiable crazy..so I refrained, although that's what I was feeling inside.

She's said a few more sentences since then, but mainly only speaks if we ask her a question. She still will not offer any information, but I think that's because she's 'stuck' with language...losing her Mandarin, and yet not knowing enough English, in her mind, to make a sentence, although we would be grateful for ANYTHING. I think for her, unless it's perfect, she's not gonna say it...and that's hard.

Several weeks ago I started 'holding' her hand when we pray before meals. When we tried this months ago, she put her hand in her lap...now she at least lets me rest my hand on top of hers...so that's progress...and yesterday she said, "I need help"..when she couldn't open the bottle of water...and that is HUGE....for these children, who have been self-reliant for so long because a caregiver who once loved them betrayed them...they'd rather die than ask another caregiver for help....it's just too hard for them....she doesn't want to rely on us, because that means she needs us..which means she has to get close to us...and that's sooooo incredibly painful for a child who has been abandoned TWICE.

I have to keep reminding myself of that..especially if I'm tempted to get frustrated with her. I cannot even begin to fathom what she's been through, but prayerfully, I hope one day she can tell us..so she can begin to heal from all the pain that must be there inside.

At the Connect conference, during one of the speakers, I was so impressed by God to write something down. It was if He was speaking to me, right there, and I could hardly contain the emotion. This was DanNi's first, of many, youth events. A few days before, I was REALLY dreading going...she's still not talking, she probably won't talk to anyone..what's she going to understand,anyway??..but God has a way of making it all better. Finally, before we left I reconciled to believe that if she only at least realizes the people there love Jesus, that will be enough....to hear His NAME spoken, and sung..to hear the WORD preached..there is POWER in that...unexplainable POWER..

So, this is a summary of what He said to me...
Even though DanNi is not speaking now...one day, one day, she will stand before many and testify of My Love, and grace and healing, that has transformed her life...a life that was once full of pain, heartbreak, depression, loneliness and fear.... to a life of joy, peace and favor...because I have made all things new. I am a God of healing, restoration, love and I am for the fatherless, defending the hurt and the poor. One day, she will be able to share her story...a story that you, Stephanie, do not even know. You will be amazed. Just watch, you will be amazed.

In Sunday school when we were sharing what we hoped this New Year would bring, I shared that I pray for this in 2011: that JingJing and DanNi would give their hearts to Jesus.
I can't wait to see how the year unfolds. I hope this year brings you much peace and happiness...and that you yearn to know Him and to make Him known.