He is Speaking Still....

Even in the darkness, I still hear His voice. This will be a quick post...but wanted to say a million thanks to all of our sweet church friends who greeted us at the airport, along with Matthew's parents. It was a wonderful welcome home; such a blessing to see so many who had been praying for us. As we approached the landing in HSV, I kept thinking that everything within me wanted to just start bawling, being overjoyed at finally being home and in simply processing all that had happened, but I simply couldn't. I wanted to look out the plane window, but I could barely lift my head off the headrest. If you have ever been at that point in life, so exhausted in every imaginable way, that you wanted to cry, but just couldn't, you know what I'm talking about.

On the way home in the truck that night, DanNi started crying, a lot. It wasn't too long before I heard JingJing singing "Jesus Loves Me" to her, and she was gently stroking her arm.....I was hearing His voice in that moment. Back when Meredith was a baby, and then after we adopted JingJing, I decided that I would sing them that song, every night, before bed. I really contemplated the reason, too. I didn't just choose a random song, but wanted something with meaning..and remember thinking then, in 2001 and in 2004, that as their lives went on, and when things got tough as they got older...grade school, middle school, HS, college, married life, etc...I wanted the truth that "Jesus loves me, this I know.." to be embedded into their hearts..because I know there may be a time when they question my love for them, or a boyfriend's love for them, or just when life itself gets hard, etc...so I pray they always know the Savior's love for them, and in the most important moment, on our way home, my little JingJing...the firecracker, crack-me-up, silly little girl that she is...remembered that Truth, and shared it with her sister.

And today, I heard His voice. Getting DanNi to get in the car with me by myself, has proven to be very difficult over the last two days, so I was dreading having to take her to the doctor today. She drug her feet to the car in the garage, crying all the way. I turned on the NorthPoint CD, just to hear some Truth in song, and shortly after I was on the Beltline, I put my sunglasses on to conceal my tears. I don't want to frighten DanNi by crying..so I started singing along; kinda determined to drown out her loud crying by singing, to at least calm myself down...when "It Is Well" began to play. I wanted to pull off the road and have a 'Come to Jesus' moment, but knew that was not possible. I am overwhelmed He knew what I needed, right then...right then, I needed to hear 'It is well, it is well with my soul'.

Then I drove a Sonic sweet tea to Matthew, hoping to brighten his day a little, when I saw some girlfriends at church. I pulled over and asked them to pray for me, again. For many years of my life, my stubborn pride would not let me ask anyone for help at anytime, but over time, the Lord has shown me that He wants to use people to bless us, and asking for help, is humbling, but it is allowing Him to use the Body of Christ, here on earth, to be His hands and feet. And my sweet friend, Jenny, volunteered to go with me to the doctor's office. I was so grateful for that. I have heard several wise people say that in their time of need, someone's presence often meant more than words well-spoken, and I know that is true. She had a morning free, without her three small children, when she probably desperately needed some alone time, and she chose to accompany me to the doctor's office. I heard His voice today.