A New Year

It's hard to believe that it's already Jan. 18th! Our trip to Israel was wonderful, but it was hard being away from the girls for so long. I was ready to get back home to finalize as much of the adoption process as possible. As I type, I think of Emma. I think about her all the time. What is she doing? Is she hungry, thirsty, tired? Does she know what it's like to laugh and have fun? I hope so. I can't imagine living in an orphanage....wondering if a family will ever come to love you and take you home. Thinking about that for too long is really more than I can handle. So, when I get really sad to think that she is there, along with hundreds more, I pray for comfort and peace for the orphans. I pray Zephaniah 3:17---"He is mighty to save. ...He delights over you with singing... He is with you."

I have so many questions for her....that one day I hope we can talk about.
As far as the process...Matthew received his fingerprint clearance (the ones we drove to Montgomery for) last Thursday. I had a sinking feeling that day, Dec. 18th, b/c several of my prints produced a 'red' signal on the machine. I asked the girl about that, if they needed to be re-done...and she just passed it off. I truly hope and pray they don't have to be re-done, and that soon my results will come in the mail...more of a delay just means the longer that Emma has to be in that orphanage...the thing that people over here, that have to be part of our adoption process, simply don't get. At times it is soooooo FRUSTRATING!!!!

I am not pushing the Home Study for my own sake....it's for Emma. We want to bring her home...SOON....so she has that many less days in an institution. Yesterday our Social Worker, Laura Emerson, came to the house at 2pm to talk to us. We are meeting her today in HSV for another interview. Four visits are required for the Home Study. Then, she will come to Chestnut Grove to finish up. I am seriously praying that MD gets our clearances back and my prints come back this week....Lord, God....PLEASE, I beg of You, make a way; grant us Your favor, in these things....not for our benefit, but for Emma. I trust You, Lord, though and I know Your timing is perfect. You created us; You created Emma..and I believe this is Your plan; at the same time I am a mother and I am dying inside to know that a litle girl in Dianbai County, Guangdong, is w/out a momma and the longer this takes, perhaps the harder on her it becomes. So, Lord, my prayer is that this whole process will be over as soon as possible, so she can come here and that thru it all, You will receive the glory.

Tomorrow Doug is suppose to meet Matthew at the doctor's office to notarize our physicals and Wed., Kathy is suppose to notarize Matthew's employment letter. We are so grateful for all of the people who have been a part of this process for us...for without them, brining Emma home would not be possible. So, when she comes home, just know that if you have been involved, you, too, have helped change her life.

My ultimate prayer for her, just as it is for our other girls, is to know Jesus. Perhaps she does...we don't know. If she doesn't, we pray that over time, as she adjusts to us, to school, to church, the youth group, she will KNOW the love of Jesus thru her interactions with believers and she will come to understand that He provided a way for her to be with our family.

My heart is full and torn at the same time. She is probably sleeping now....is she warm? is she cold? is she scared? does she have nightmares? is she at peace? does she even sleep well? So, until that day comes when I can touch her, hold her, Lord, Jesus, please protect her and keep her safe. Place people in her life who will love her until we can bring her home.